Insights from 2021

For several years, I have used a physical planner* that includes lots of tools for reflection and goal-setting. I find the monthly planning pages particularly helpful. At the beginning of the month, there is an invitation to set three goals and, for each one, identify a “Reason Why” and “Distractions to Avoid.” At the end of the month, there is space to consider “When were you at your best?” and to record “Wins” and “Insights Gained.”

Back in the spring, I sat down and looked through all of the monthly pages from last year. Revisiting those memories was intense, beautiful, painful, humbling, and a bit overwhelming. I found myself wanting to collect up the “Insights Gained” and record them in a single document, which I did. Then I realized that there were also many insights contained within the other categories, especially the “Reasons Why” and “When I was at my best.” So I collected those, as well.

Like most people, I need to get some distance from events and experiences in order to process and understand them. In fact, I don’t think any life experience is ever fully “processed.” We often return to the same memories again and again, finding new insights and perspectives each time.

So although the usual timeframe for a “2021 Year in Review” post has long since passed, here is a compilation of some of my personal insights from 2021 – the ones I feel comfortable sharing publicly at this time. They are mostly arranged in chronological order, from January to December, with some grouped thematically, as well.

The short version is: 2021 was quite a year, and the journey is only just beginning.

PS I have moved away from using that particular planner since I first compiled these, partly because my life looks so different than it used to and partly because of the heavy focus on “self-improvement”: building habits, setting goals, increasing productivity, etc. There is a time and a place for that work, but it is not where I am right now.

2021 Insights

Honest reflection is the only way to move forward on my spiritual journey.

Comparing myself to others makes me feel bad and less motivated.

I thrive when I am connected to natural and liturgical cycles.

I want to know myself better and uncover my deepest callings.

Maybe God’s omnipotence is limited by God’s love.

There are things I still want to do at St. Luke’s.

I don’t have to wait until something (in particular my writing) is 100% perfect before sharing it with people.

I am ready to share my words with the world.

Most tasks take twice as long as I think they will.

I am worthy of love and care.

I cannot care for myself if I don’t know what I need.

I am grieving the loss of so much.

I am exhausted from caregiving.

I need to rest and recharge.

I am at my best when I connect with others.

I love being on the water.

I am worthy of love for my own sake, not only because of what I give others.

This is really hard. And: I can do hard things.

I am in a time of spiritual exile. Psalm 137: “Build houses and live in them.”

Regathering is the trickiest part of the pandemic.

I am on the most ancient human journey of all.

I am still a bloody good priest.

It is time to let go of St. Luke’s.

It is time to let the people of St. Luke’s fly without me.

It is time for me to rest.

I am ready mentally/spiritually to make this change.

I have a big heart! And it is being expanded through this process.

I have earned the rewards of my ten years in Annapolis: the learnings, hard-won wisdom, growth, accolades, and celebration.

I have finally learned to love my parishioners.

I have left my mark on Annapolis – For Good 🙂

I am loved by so many people for exactly who I am.

I want to travel lightly and freely into this next chapter.

I don’t want to get sick or be a wreck by the end of this leaving process!

My family is pretty amazing, and so am I.

I will stay grounded, open, and flexible through the uncertainty, because I have no idea how this journey will unfold.

I can be flexible and adaptive, but it is hard and takes a lot out of me! 

I want to be present in this in-between space and time.

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*If you’re curious, it’s the Panda Planner Pro.